Humor

"Kids Say the Darndest Things ...about Church"

I was driving with my six year old daughter in the back seat. I was talking to someone on my cell phone and I was trying to explain to them where a certain building was, so I was telling them about a street intersection. My daughter pops up and says, "Oh do you mean the "Intersection of the Theotokos?" I laughed my head off. It was so cute.


My little boy was probably about six at the time. He showed me how some skin was peeling from the bottom of his toes. I told him that was a touch of "athlete's feet."  He apparently thought I said "Catholic feet" so he said, "I don't want Catholic feet and want Orthodox feet".

  A little child in church for the first time watched as the ushers  passed the  offering plates. When they neared the pew where he sat, the youngster piped up so that everyone could hear: "Don't pay for me Daddy, I'm under five."

A little girl became restless as the preacher's sermon dragged on and on.  Finally, she leaned over to her mother and whispered, "Mommy, if we give him the money now, will he let us go?"

After the christening of his baby brother in church, little Johnny sobbed
all the way home in the back seat of the car. His father asked him  three 
times what was wrong. Finally, the boy replied, "That priest said he 
wanted us brought up in a Christian home, and I want to stay with yo guys!"


Terri asked her Sunday School class to draw pictures of their favorite Bible stories. She was puzzled by Kyle's picture, which showed four people on an airplane, so she asked him which story it was meant to represent. "The flight to Egypt," said Kyle. "I see ... And that must be Mary, Joseph, and  Baby Jesus," Ms. Terri said. "But who's the fourth person?" "Oh, that's Pontius - the Pilot.

The Sunday School Teacher asks, "Now, Johnny, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?" "No sir," little Johnny replies, "I don't have to.  My Mom is a good cook."

Pastor Dave Charlton tells us, "After a worship service at First Baptist Church in Newcastle, Kentucky, a mother with a fidgety seven-year old boy told ! me how she finally got her son to sit still and be quiet. About halfway through the sermon, she leaned over and whispered, 'If you don't be quiet, Pastor Charlton is going to lose his place and will have to start his  sermon all over again!' It worked."

A little girl was sitting on her grandfather's lap as he read her a bedtime story. From time to time, she would take her eyes off the book and reach up to touch his wrinkled cheek. She was alternately stroking her own cheek, then his again. Finally she spoke up, "Grandpa, did God make you?" "Yes, sweetheart," he answered, "God made me a long time ago." "Oh," she paused, Grandpa, did God make me too?" "Yes, indeed, honey," he said, "God made you just a little while ago." Feeling their respective faces again, she observed "God's getting better at it, isn't he?"